I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
