Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
