Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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