I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
