Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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