you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
