hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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