At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
