my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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