oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
