I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
