You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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