i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
