she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
