just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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