But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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