i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Damn victory sex feels great
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
