You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
