Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
