is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
