So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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