he thought i was a dude.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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