I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
