I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
