You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
