fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
