ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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