Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize