I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
