Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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