I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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