biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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