Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
