The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
