he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
