you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
