google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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