so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
