After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
