and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
