we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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