were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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