Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize