Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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