My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
