Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
