I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
