so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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