Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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