I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So many bounce houses so little time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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