We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
