every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
