Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
