Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
