was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize