Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
