You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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