I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
