the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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