Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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