After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
