p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
