I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
